News Flash!

As many of you don't know, my life sucks right now. And today it got a whole lot suckier. Yeah, suckier is a word. I got a big fat bomb dropped on me and well, I can't really say that I was surprised because I have seen it coming for a long time but still, not pleasant. Also, it leaves a lot of unanswered questions.

Normally, I would turn to friends in this instance but they are on vacation still. There is only one person I want to talk to right now and we aren't. Again, suck feast.

So, I pose the question, what do you do when you can't do anything? Cry? Check. Curl up in a ball? Done. Pray lots? Ahuh...

Anyways, just having one of those why now? moments and just thought I would share.

A New Year

In two days, we will ring in a new year. There will be parties and toasting (non-alcoholic beverages, of course!) and if your lucky, even a kiss at midnight. But everything boils down to one thing: a fresh start. A brand new 365 days to spend however you want, so choose wisely.

If you are like me, you're hoping for an awesome year filled with every dream come true! Or you could be sad that '09 is coming to a close because maybe it was a great one. Either way, look out because 2010 is coming! A chance to change, do better, or keep-on trucking is heading your way!

So in light of the upcoming year, here are a few resolutions I have:

1) Pass the BOC the first time. :o)
2) Stop being such a girl (notice I said "such", not stop being a girl altogether. I happen to like being a girl...)
3) Spend more time with my family. After all, they will always be there.

Well that is a good start. Here's hoping they last longer than the first week of January.

Confused. Or Am I?

Ever thought you liked someone to turn around and realize that you really didn't? Or better yet, have you ever liked someone and didn't realize it for a really long time? If you just answered yes to both of these questions, then congratulations! You could be me...

I did something this week that was really hard for me (and no, I am not referring to graduation!) and while I am very glad that I did it, I am over it. I realize this is all very vague and no one has any idea what I am talking about. Well, that's kinda the point. Anyways, while I was in the middle of deciding whether or not to do this particular thing, I realized that I actually liked someone else.

It had been glaring me in the face all along and I guess I was just ignoring it because everyone else could see it but me. Now my problem starts all over again. Oh dear. If anyone knows a solution, let me know. In the meantime, I am just silently waiting. For what? I couldn't really say. We will all just have to wait and see together.

Cause We Are The Champions!

Vegas: The Sequel. Don't get me wrong, the first trip was fun but this time doesn't even compare. My week was filled with buffets, practices, hitting up the hospitality suite and having a great time. Saturday night I went to see Phantom of the Opera with Phillip and that ranks high on my list of cool things that I did during the trip. I also hit up the outlet mall. What, I am a girl after all...:o)

Nothing can compare with being in that stadium again, with the guys in their throwbacks, destroying OSU. What a way to end the season and a great going away present for the Seniors. To all of those graduating: best of luck with everything. To all the underclassmen: now it's your turn so make the most of it. And to all the boys: thanks for a great season and for all the memories!

I am sad that football is now over but I am happy that it happened. I would never have traded this experience for anything. The friends I made, I injuries I saw/treated and the things I was able to do were so worth it. Sorry that this turned into a reminiscent post.

Well, sigh, now that I am home, I guess I should probably go do my Christmas shopping since it is tomorrow....Happy trails!

P.S. That is Phillip in the picture above on the right holding his gatorade bottles. lol.

One Left!!!

I only have one more final and then I am done. Forever. ! Yeah, that's right.

Also, it's packing time. Peace out Provo, here I come Vegas.

And, I got the job at the MTC.

Life is GREAT right now. :o)

That is all. Just thought you all should know.

It's That Time Again...

Yup, finals are here. But guess what? This is my last finals week of my undergraduate! Yippee! On Thursday, I was in my D&C class with Jackie when it dawned on me, I am done! Class is over for me, as of right now! I told her, that finals pending, I was a college graduate and she got a shocked look on her face and said "Oh my gosh! You're right!" It was pretty funny.

So it's been awhile since I have been on here. A few things have happened. I don't even know who reads this thing but if anyone doesn't know, I am going down to Las Vegas for the bowl game with the team. I also have a job interview on Monday, working at the MTC in the athletic training room. Life is just ever-changing for me right now. I can't wait!

I have been go, go, go the last week trying to get all my assignments in and all my papers written and everything done before classes ended. Now I just have finals every morning and practice every afternoon. Then I leave on Friday. It is going to be a big purging of stress too because I will finally be able to breathe and that thing that you are supposed to do at night in bed, I think it's called sleep but I can't remember.

Anyways, I am ready for finals to be done. I hate finals week. It's super stressful and I was never a big fan of studying/ cramming so all of this combined equals not fun for Angela. However, it's kinda like summer all over again. My parents got me a ticket to Hawaii for my birthday to go visit my best friends/ roommates at their houses there, but I had to finish up two independent study classes first and I only had two weeks. It was a hard push but great motivation. Similar thing now.

Well, back to studying. Yay.

We Did It!!!

Well we did it! I always new that my boys in throwback blues would pull it out in the end. And talk about a last second victory too. I hate close games because I am pretty sure I have a heart attack every time! Speaking of the throwbacks, they were super awesome and I loved them so much! I would not be the least bit upset if we went back to them for good. Just saying. But it was awesome to work the game and be able to support the guys and be apart of the epic victory. yes, I did rush the field. And then when I reached the mosh pit, I realized I was supposed to be guarding our stuff on the sideline so I fought the crowd and ran back. It was a great day. One that I don't think I will ever forget.

I am getting really anxious for the end of the semester so I can stop having to worry about when that paper is due and how I am going to make time to study for those midterms that are in the same week. But then whenever I think about that, I wonder to myself, what will I fill my time with??? I am taking the BOC in January (I officially started the registration process tonight!) but then after that...? Yeah, the whole question mark says a lot. As in I don't know. Which is scary.

As of right now, I am leaving Utah this summer. To where you ask? I have absolutely no idea. Wherever I am supposed to go. It makes me super happy to start over totally new and try to be independent but at the same time it terrifies me at the thought of starting over totally new and trying to be independent. Who knows what will happen. Stay tuned. Plus, I still have to graduate first! :o)

If anyone knows of an athletic training job opening let me know!

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

It's true. Growing up and changing is not fun. No one likes doing it. At least not while they are doing it. But as you look back, it's fun to be able to say "Hey, I've really changed." In the moment though, it kinda sucks.

But I am reminded of a movie quote that goes something like this "Hey little brother, life's tough, get a helmet." Meaning: life is hard, deal with it. There is no way around this life. We can only go through it. And I don't know about you but I know that I want to pass through with flying colors. I want the ultimate reward, which is to be with my husband (whoever he is) and kids forever.

Whenever I get down (which those who live near me know has been recently), I remember this quote: "Dance like no one is watching, love like you'll never be hurt, sing like no one is listening, and live like it's heaven on earth." You just have to be positive and life live to the fullest. That is the only remedy to the blues. I know, take my own advice, right? I am still trying.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Remember to have gratitude for all your many blessings and don't forget to smile. You never know whose day you might brighten. :o)

Crunch Time

It's finally here. No I am not referring to Thanksgiving Break (although I am VERY excited about only two days of class this week...). No I am talking about Rivalry Week. The one week every year where fans go crazy. Wardies trash talking, neighbors pranking each other, fans getting in brawls in the stands. Aw, you gotta love the "Holy War".

I thought that if I saw a person wearing red this week I would hit them, until when I went to treatments this morning I saw a player was wearing a red shirt...that theory kind of went out the window. Not only do I love him and all his hilariousness, but lets be honest, he could hurt me with his pinky if he wanted to.

I remember last year vividly. My roommate Cheryl was a Ute Fan and we didn't really speak to each other that week except to trash talk one another. It was awesome right up until she shut me up with the win. Then she was a typical Ute fan and drug my face through it for several days. Our relationship was never really the same. Anyways, its been a long year and I would really, really, REALLY like to return the favor. Except, ya know, in a more Christ-like way. Because we Cougar Fans are much better about that. Right?...

This week is going to be crazy intense. Football still practices everyday and they are going to be going hard. Also, I have so much reading to do before the semester ends that I am starting to cry myself to sleep. Not really but the thought has crossed my mind. Why am I not doing that instead of whining about it on here, you ask yourself? Welcome to my life.

Regardless of the outcome, it is my final game working at L.E.S. and I am so excited/ sad. I want the win. I want it for all the seniors, (which I include myself in that group, thank you very much) I want it for the coaches, I want it for all the TRUE fans who have stuck it out all season long and not wavered and most importantly, I want it for the Utes. Because I hear that along with mashed potatoes and turkey, a nice big slice of Humble Pie goes quite nicely. :o)

Rivalry week: bring it on! :o)

This one's for you

Ever had something that you really needed to say but didn't know how to, or better yet, didn't think it would go over really well? That is where I am at right now. However, through a few long conversations with a great friend (you know who you are, yes you) I have come to the amazing and frightening conclusion that you never really know what to say or how to say it. And it doesn't really matter. The important part is saying it.

So, this one's for you.

Betty Crocker

I am baking for the second time in two days. I feel like freakin Betty Crocker! I hope the boys appreciate all my efforts. But judging by yesterday's comments, they just care about getting feed, not how much time I spend making them food. Whatever. I love them and making them happy so the small sacrafice is worth it.

In other news, I finally finished the CATS clothing order!!! If anyone is in need of cheap BYU clothing, let me know by next tuesday night. That is when the money is due. It has been my baby for the past two months and has been a beast of a project but is finally done and I just emailed it out to the students. One less thing to worry about. Yipee!

As Christmas gets closer, anticipation heigthens. Although I want it to come, I am scared. But for now, I'll just focus on Thanksgiving, because I need that more than Christmas. Plus, it only 5 school days away. :o)

A Traveling Commentary

Just got home from Albuquerque. It was a fun trip and I really enjoyed myself. A football game, four girls student trainers and a team full of boys = a lot of giggling, some almost tears and some yelling. Others may not share my opinion but I loved the trip and learned a lot. I got to talk with some of the team doctors about some injuries and just about sports medicine in general. It was a great experience for me.

The hotel was not the Ritz but then again, Albuquerque is not Vegas either. Also, who prayed for rain and the cold? I thought the desert was dry and hot??? Guess I was wrong... If I had wanted that, I would have just stayed in Provo! :o) At least here it snowed.

Anyways, it is good to be home. I am always tired but satisfied after traveling. I am exhausted, but its a good exhausted. The kind where you feel good about yourself because you know you gave 110% and left it all out on the field. I can't speak for the rest of the team but I know that I worked my butt off today.

Although there are some on the team today that I know gave it everything they had. Like my D-line. I am so proud of you guys! :o) Way to get 1.5 sacks, Jan!

Well I am going to bed now. Wake me up when its time for class on Monday. Just kidding. I'll be at treatments at 10... Here's hoping I sleep better than in the hotel.

Fun Sucker

Midterms. The ultimate fun sucker.

So I am traveling this week. The University of New Mexico is the next on our hit list and all I really want to do is think about that and get ready to go but I can't because I have a HUGE midterm in English to study for. Do I want to? No. Have I been? Not as much as I should but a lot more than normal. Ah, the joys of being a Senior. :o)

Also, I want you. And I am kind of sick of waiting. But your worth it, hence me waiting some more. Just wanted to get that off my chest. I feel lots better now, thanks.

Stay tuned for the next installment which will probably come after the road trip unless I just can't stand studying anymore. Now I have to go read about Joan of Arc and Muslims and Sir Gawain. Yippee.

Random Thoughts

So I should definitely be asleep right now but my mind is wandering and kind of all over the place so here is where I turn with my random thoughts. They are as follows:

1. I have SO much to do this week before traveling. Also, I have no real desire to do any of it. Can we just fast forward through my mid terms and move straight on to the part were I get to be with the guys for a few days? Please?

2. Today's game was awesome and I loved Coach's comments at halftime. There were no questions going into this game. We knew exactly what would happen and it did. Weird. 52-0, baby. Plus 3 sacks for my D-line. Not bad at all. :o)

3. The results are in and...it's a boy!!! Come late March sometime I will be an aunt again to a little boy. Super excited!

4. Why is it that all the songs I listen to must make me think of him? Why? I do that enough on my own! I guess I need to stop listening to the radio. Yeah...right.

5. I hate the dating game. I think it is stupid. I refuse to play.

There are many more random thoughts but that is all for now because I can finally sleep. Goodnight!

So blessed

This weekend was one of those times were I was reminded how blessed I really am and that I am not doing this alone. I love my internship with the football team. It honestly is one of the best things I have ever done. I am learning a lot and getting so excited to run my own training room. It has been a great experience. Of course it has been hard and some days I come home and wonder why I am putting myself through this but other days I don't want to leave because I love it so much.

But I have been stressing recently about what to do come February and I am certified. Do I want to move away to another state and work in a high school? Do I want to find a small D II college and get a teacher's certificate while working as an ATC? Do I just want to work in a clinic for awhile until I figure it all out? Anyways, I have been thinking about it a lot and praying about it. Sunday I realized that I don't need to anymore. I just have to get to Christmas. I just need to graduate first. That is step one. Then, it doesn't really matter what happens next because I know it will be what the Lord wants. I will go where he wants me to go, regardless of if there is an NFL team there or not. :o) I will just be sad about it for awhile.

Another thing that I am blessed with is an amazing family who I know is always there for me. They love me unconditionally and they support me in everything I do. My parents have been great about helping me pay for school. They have been my biggest cheerleaders and I owe everything to them. My brothers are huge goofballs and they always know exactly what to say when I need someone to talk to. My sister and I have not always gotten along but I still love her and all of her craziness.

In the end, I don't deserve half of what I have and so I am trying to not take anything for granted. Count your blessings people because you are so blessed!

Athena, the goddess of war

For Halloween this year I have decided to be Athena and I must admit my costume is pretty awesome. I will post pictures as soon as someone posts them on facebook. Speaking of which, I really need to stop getting on there so dang much. It is such a waste of time but I like catching up with friends that I haven't seen in years and making funny comments on people's walls. It also gives me an excellent excuse to not do homework for a few minutes. Is that so wrong? Ok, yes it is, but still.

Today was a great day. I am getting a lot more out of my classes, I am doing a lot more homework and I even get more time to spend with my roomies since I decided to stop worrying about everything. I mean, he is still on my mind but just not as much. Plus, no tears in two days! Baby steps, people, baby steps.

And lastly, after probably the longest eight days ever, we FINALLY have hot water!!! I am so grateful for a working water heater and never again will I take it for granted.

Seven days of cold...

As many of you know, our hot water in the apartment got turned off last week and it has now been a week of freezing cold water! I extremely dislike cold showers and I really don't having to shower at other people's places because that is annoying for them. Needless to say, it has been an awesome week!

I formally apologize to my roommates and my parents for all the complaining that has been going on. It's been excessive and I am sorry.

In other news, I am having a GREAT week (ya know, minus the whole hot water situation...). I did a little soul searching this weekend and realized that I don't want to be upset anymore. I want to be happy. There is nothing I can do to change my current situation and I don't know if I would even if I were able to. I like the way things are now. I also decided that regardless how you feel about me, I am going to be the best me I can be. That is pretty much all I can do.

So, as much as possible, it's going to be smiles from here on out. I am gonna go listen to Colbie Caillat. :o)