Lately I have been trying to run my own life. I guess I thought that along with graduating and certifying I should be in charge of myself. That was going fine for awhile but recently it has stopped working so well. I am trying to find a job for the fall, figure where I am supposed to live and just generally what I am supposed to do with my life and doing it all on my own is not the smartest idea I ever had.
Today it all came to a head and it felt like I ran head first into a brick wall.
The Lord said in the scriptures that he would have a humble people and if they wouldn't humble themselves that He would compel them to be humble. Well, today I was compelled. It felt great too. No, seriously it felt amazing to knew that my Heavenly Father cares so much for me and that He is right there, just waiting for me to ask for His help. He loves me so much and just wants me to be happy. I have always known this but I just needed a reminder.
So once I realized that I could no longer keep pretending that I knew what was best for me, I threw my hands up and let go. Sometimes all it takes is a good cry and a long talk with someone who sees the bigger picture and you feel so much better.
My problems are not magically solved, nor do I see an easy resolution to them but I have a much brighter outlook on life now and I know that things will all work out. I just need to learn when to turn off my flashlight and take that first blind step before I can turn on the big light in the room. I know, cheesy metaphor but it works, ok?
Also, laugh more. There isn't enough laughter in the world and it really is the best medicine. :o)
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